The marriage marketViews — By Neha K Kulkarni on June 19, 2012 at 11:02 AM
[quote]“Marriages are made in heaven, but we have to live through it on earth.”
-Neha K Kulkarni[/quote]
We all grow up with this wonderful idea of getting married. All girls dream of their ideal wedding even before they totally understand what it is all about. As we grow up our ideas change so does out expectations. What was initially a fairy tale now becomes the ugly truth.
So why does it all change? As kids we are told time and again to be nice individuals. To love and respect other and so on. But the real world isn’t as rosy as it’s portrayed. Relationships are calculative. You have money…great! You don’t have money…too bad. You give me space…we are compatible. You don’t give me space…we need a break. The list is endless. Sometimes I wonder, what happened to unconditional love? Is it just an illusion or does it still exist in this oh-so practical world?
For all those dating their love for years, if all turns out well then you are ready to walk down the aisle. What about all those who aren’t dating anyone? Well, for all those you have no choice but to enter the “Marriage Market!” Now you would ask me, why market? Well, the answer lies ahead.
Arrange marriages are a different ball game altogether. If you are single and looking for match the process can really tire you down. You are judge on how you look, how tall you are, whether you are plumb or an envious size zero. It doesn’t end there. Next on the list are your earnings or how much would you inherit and so on. It’s only if you pass these stages would people want to know the real you but that’s pretty much at the end of the must-have list. It’s like buying a product. You see a great product and then you splurge. Pretty ok product, you think about it maybe even bargain and then buy it. But when there is a not-so-good one, you simply walk off.
People start off with this huge list of ‘what I want in my partner’ Can you really find a life partner with the help of a checklist? Like really? If you have so many haves and have nots, then I guess all that would remain is the image of your perfect partner that too just in your head.
The worst enemies here are all those who cannot see you ‘being single’. Their sole aim is to make marriage happen. How and to whom, is of little importance. They have an ‘ideal marriage age’ set and if you aren’t married by then, all hell breaks loose! All kinds of doubts creep in. ‘Is something wrong with him/her?’ ‘Isn’t he/she not good enough?’ ‘Poor you! You haven’t found the right partner yet?’ ‘Hang in there, you definitely find somebody to marry!’ Why do people assume that you are unhappy or lonely if you are single? The person could be perfectly happy and ready to wait till he/she finds the suitable person to tie the knot.
If you end up finding a good match then it’s all about how does he/she look? Is he/she rich? What kind of car does he own? Where does he stay and so on… Do we forget that it’s not just about what he/she own but about the kind of person you would want to live with for the rest of your life. Somehow the genuinity of the person is lost and only No wonder there is rise in unhappy marriages.
I feel it’s easier to go buy expensive items from a mall, than to find a match. All those who are in a relationship or have married their love are simply luck to have not been part of this traumatic process.
My advice to all the single people out there, go find your partner and if you can’t, then good luck as you enter the ‘marriage market’. May you come out victorious!