Wait till I turn 30…!Views — By Sapna Krishnan on March 27, 2012 at 10:58 AM
Whatever era we are in, a large section of the society still continues to pressurize their children on how they should be married as soon as they are graduated. A lot of them don’t mind getting their children married even before their graduation!
Gone are the days when Punekars would get married at the age of 21 or 22. Thirty is the new 20! Many would blame it on the influence of the western culture. Is that the reality? If not, what exactly is the reason? Even though Punekars are accustomed to a modernized lifestyle, we still believe in the institution of marriage and give it all we can to make it work.
At a very young age, I doubt anybody knows the meaning of commitment and loyalty. And that is why when they get into a marriage, after a point, they tend to stray!
So what has changed? Why is there a delay in tying the knot?
You will always hear this – “I haven’t found the right person yet!!” No, no – I ain’t saying there is no truth in it. A large portion of it depends on what our demands are, don’t you agree? The C-word scares the hell out of every soul. It means a curb on the freedom. You hang on to your singlehood, like there is no tomorrow.
With a continuous change in lifestyle, you think you know it all! Some Punekars feel the need to break out from the usual custom of arranged marriages. Is it wrong – definitely not! Why is it wrong to spend your life with someone of your choice? But the question being – are you matured enough to make the decision?
Most of us do not know what actually are our likes and dislikes, and just go with the flow. And when it comes down to choosing a partner, you are worried if you would be able to adjust according to their lifestyle or vice versa. You need to know what you really want out of the relationship. If you do not know it yourself, is it fair to blame it on the other person? Does the old saying – opposites attract count here? Of course, it does. Well, in my case it did. If you both are going to be very strong personalities, the sound of clashing vessels in your home is only going to get louder.
Money seems to be playing a role in the decision making process. There are no two ways about the need for financial stability. I am not a feminist but I really think it is very important for women to have their own source of income, and equally important to not let it get to your head. For instance, men have a very sensitive ego. Just because a woman earns more than the man, she does not need to keep proving it to him on a regular basis.
I have seen many Punekars wanting to have a good bank balance before tying the knot! Says Namrata Sakpal, 27, Manager (with a renowned hotel), “What’s the hurry? We both want to settle down financially before we take the leap. He wants his own house and I want a better position in my professional life.”
Jumping into something you aren’t sure about should not lead to further complications. With divorces on the rise, it is very important to know the person before getting married as there is no place for trial and error. Walk down that aisle when you are really ready for it – be it at the age of 18 or 30 or even later.