Verbal abuse and broken relationships: Let’s end it now!
Conversations — By Neha K Kulkarni on March 14, 2012 at 2:38 PM
Ratna S Khemani is a renowned personality counselor. Her concepts of Personality Development have helped a lot of people in the country. In today’s world, where meaning of relationships have changed and people are indulging in verbal abuse, Ratna S Khemani feels that there is a lot that people need to know about in terms of behaviour and relationships. The Punekar bring to you an interesting conversation with the personality counselor herself.
What is behaviour sensitivity all about?
It is basically about dealing with each other courteously .Today common courtesies seem to be as uncommon as common sense. On the one hand we are inundate0d with greeting cards of every variety on every occasion but lack graciousness in our everyday lives and hardly use the words, ‘ Please, sorry, thank you ‘. Not returning a telephonic call is even being accepted as the one thing. In my seminars at management Institutes and elsewhere, this is one of the things I teach.
What is verbal abuse?
Callous, rude behaviour and crass comments go on all the time, in schools, colleges, homes, offices, everywhere and we are not even aware of it. It is creating depression in people and then addicts. To me, addicts are not born addicts they are made, made by us, made by society and then we make rehabilitation centers and spend millions trying to get them back into mainstream.
What do you have to say about the change in personal relationships?
They have changed drastically in recent times and I see a lot of young adults in’ live in’ relationships. These relationships are shown as glamorous and ‘ hep’ in Hollywood films and TV serials. Therefore, everyone wants to adopt the same trend. In doing so, they tend to ignore the concept of relationship which actually means love, family, and commitment. A sheet anchor and steadiness is important in life. Drifting from one relationship to another is like living on quicksand leading again to emptiness and sadness.
Why is the rate of marriage break-ups on the rise?
This is an unfortunate phenomenon in recent times, which seems to be growing by the day. I feel terrible every time I see a relationship break up. In a broken marriage no one wins, everyone is a loser and mostly the children. I tell young adults to invest in their marriages, spend time with each other, make time for each other and do some little activities in cohesion…some hobbies, hikes, even a walk in the local park or a film seen together brings closeness. Competition in careers is the culprit. It drains out the energy and spontaneity.
What do you feel about girlfriend and boyfriend relationships today?
It is very natural for boys and girls to be attracted to each other. Consequently these relationships are very important. However it is important to have limits in these relationships. Every game is enjoyable because it has rules, boundaries, so should there be a limit in defining the relationship between girlfriends and boyfriends. Crossing these limits seems glamorous in reel life, but in real life it brings despair and depression.
You can get in touch with Ratna S Khemani at khemaniratna@bsnl.in OR ratnakhemani@gmail.com
You can also visit her website http://www.ratnakhemani.com
